Why am I such a big failure?
Do you frequently ask yourself the question, “Why am I such a big failure?” From time to time, it’s normal to feel like a failure, especially when something terrible happened to you or you failed to achieve a goal. For example, maybe your best friend criticized you, got into a fight with your partner, or you didn’t get a promotion at work.
It could be that you surround yourself with people who make you feel like a failure. Perhaps someone in your family is putting those ideas in your head. That person may want to push you in directions you don’t want to go, and when you can’t or won’t, you feel like such a failure.
Feeling like a failure can result from negative comments on social media where people tell you things they think you should be doing in school, work, or in your life in general. And sometimes, an interaction with a stranger can make you feel like a complete failure.
What to do when you feel like a failure?
When you feel like a failure, it’s best not to judge yourself. For starters, failing at something or not reaching a goal doesn’t make you a failure as a person. Focusing on your failures with the right state of mind isn’t critical; it’s actually productive. But, for that to happen, you can’t let your negative emotions run rampant. If you can’t separate your emotions, dealing with failures will not only make you feel bad but can also cause severe depression and lower your self-confidence.
How to look at failure without judging yourself?
Look at each “failure” as an opportunity to pause and reflect on what happened. Acknowledge how you feel, but don’t allow those feelings to take over your life.
For all of us, feeling like a failure is not at all uncommon. At some point, the most successful people feel like complete failures. Success stories are full of frustration, setbacks, and disappointments. Although failure can feel like a mental sinkhole, you can stop treating yourself like a failed person if you change your perspective of the situation.
You can alleviate these feelings of failure if you give yourself some perspective. The mind is powerful, containing all the tools you need to change your view on failure.
You might feel like a failure because you failed a task or missed an opportunity, but a failed attempt or a temporary setback isn’t making you a complete failure. Failures make you human, a person trying to get ahead. Instead of judging yourself, switch your negative response to a positive thought.
How do you know you are a failure?
You know you are a failure if you don’t have a base layer of self-confidence. When you struggle to accept compliments, you know you are a failure. If you are disappointed in yourself, no amount of praise will make you stop feeling like a failure.
You know you are a failure if you are your harshest critic. Do you recognize any of these criticisms? For example, my boss said I did a good job, but I feel I could’ve done more research or got an “A” on my last paper, but I could’ve worked harder and gotten an “A+.”
If you are your harshest critic, you are more comfortable feeling like a failure than showing appreciation for your accomplishments. This is damaging, as you forget to love yourself.
You know you are a failure if you procrastinate. If this is your default mindset, it’s hard not to feel like a disappointment. When you procrastinate, you are trying to avoid taking action to avoid failure, yet again.
You know you are a failure if you constantly analyze yourself. Relentlessly checking your performance is sure to crush your self-confidence. Furthermore, over criticism is just another form of harsh criticism, which is another sign of feeling like a failure.
You know you are a failure if you can’t see the big picture. This type of thinking will increase pain and depression down the line.
Feeling like a failure will taint your current life and give you a bleak outlook on the future. However, as people blast their achievements on social media every moment, it can be difficult not to feel like a failure at times.
How do I stop being a failure at everything?
The only way to stop being a failure at everything is to accept that you aren’t a failure. You can stop being a failure at everything if you reassess your goals. Are you setting realistic goals?
Set small goals to stop feeling like a failure
For example, if you want to run a marathon, you shouldn’t try without training. Such a goal will guarantee you will fail.
You can stop being a failure at everything if you take time to understand why you cannot complete tasks successfully. Every challenge becomes manageable with the right plan. First, look at where and how you’ve failed in the past. Then, look at people who succeeded. What did they do differently? Once you have analyzed your failures and made a plan, you no longer have to feel like a failure.
What to say when someone say they are a failure?
Before you open your mouth, think carefully about what you say to someone when they say they are a failure. Your words can have a huge impact. Therefore, you shouldn’t do much talking when someone tells you that he is a failure.
When someone opens up about feeling like a failure, listening is the most important thing to do. Resist the urge to give a quick answer. Ask questions. Don’t judge. Offer to share some of your own failures with the person.
You should understand that feeling like a failure is often rooted in feelings, not facts. You need to console the other person. Keep in mind that your job isn’t to solve the other person’s problems. Let’s face it; you can’t do that anyway. But you can ask leading questions. Keep listening, allow the other person to vent and don’t invalidate the person’s feelings.
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